9 Tips for Dating After Divorce (That Are Actually Useful)
Many of the single men and women who use SilverSingles are dating after divorce or after the end of a long-term relationship – it’s often the name of the game when you’re dating after 50! With so many divorced singles on our site, we thought it was time to take a look at the top tips that can help anyone who is dating after a split.
Dating after divorce can be a fantastic way to start a new chapter in your life. The love lessons of the past have taught you what you do and don’t want from love, and getting back into dating is an excellent way to remind you just how much fun and freedom you have to look forward to.
Of course, if you’ve been out of the dating game for a while, it might feel like unfamiliar territory, especially seeing as the rise of online dating apps has led to the rules of romance shifting quickly in the past few years. But you can thrive in the world of divorced dating. All you need are the right tips. And we’ve got 9 of the best.
9 of the Best Tips for Dating After Divorce
1. Make sure you’re truly ready to start dating again
The paramount rule of divorced dating is this: only date once you feel truly ready. Ending a marriage means setting aside future plans and hopes that you once held dear, and it’s vital to give yourself time to grieve this loss. There’s no set time for this process and only you will know when you feel ready to share your heart with someone new. So, don’t try and rush it – you’ll have more success in your next relationship if you don’t have the strings from your previous one holding you back.
2. Set emotional boundaries
Many singles dating in their 50s, 60s, and beyond are doing so after the end of a long-term marriage or partnership. While it’s good to wait until you’re emotionally ready before dating again, this doesn’t mean forgetting your former partner entirely. Indeed, if the two of you have children (including adult children), this might not even be possible. Instead, try to set firm emotional boundaries: keep things cordial with your ex, but make sure to save the intimacy for your friends, your children, and, eventually, your new partner.
3. Set goals for the relationship you want
One of the great things about dating as an older, wiser single is that you’re free to set your own relationship goals – far more so than when you were younger. If you’re dating after 50, chances are you’ve made your decision about life milestones like parenthood; if you’re dating after divorce you may have decided about milestones like marriage as well. Whether you want to tie the knot again or whether you’re looking for lasting love without the ring, it’s wise to really think about your ideal outcome, and then to date those singles who share your goals.
4. Go outside your comfort zone
While it is important to set goals and boundaries, it’s also important not to get too rigid in your expectations. Dating after divorce can be a time of great self-discovery, so it pays to be open to new experiences and new ways of doing things. Take that pottery class, go on that vacation, join that dating site – you never know how much joy it could bring (and who you might meet!).
5. You don’t have to get too exclusive too soon
If you’re just starting to date after your divorce, don’t feel you have to dive right back into the security of a long-term relationship. This is especially true for over 50 singles who were married for a long time: these days the senior dating scene is booming, and it makes sense to see what your options are like. This doesn’t mean leaping into bed with every single you meet of course - but do get your dating bearings by saying yes to multiple coffee or dinner dates. Save the exclusivity for when you meet someone really special.
6. Leave time to focus on yourself
Getting back into dating after a divorce can be thrilling – but, in order not to burn out and get jaded, you must remember to focus on yourself, too. Make sure to have nights set aside just for you, and others earmarked for catching up with friends and family. Not only will this help you keep a balanced life, it can also make you more appealing – there’s something so captivating about a single person with a passionate life!
7. Remember that you are the one in the driving seat
If you’re a divorced single, you likely have a close network of friends and family who helped you navigate the split. It’s only natural for these people to want to be there for you when you start dating again too, but never forget that you are the one calling the shots! For instance, perhaps your married friends want to hear all your exciting stories from the dating front line. That’s fun – but only share as much as you are comfortable with. Or perhaps you’re an over 50 single with adult children who help you with creating a dating profile – great! But, if the kids want to choose your dates for you, it’s time to draw the line.
8. Look online – that’s where the divorced singles are!
These tips about dating after divorce are great tools to help you get in the right mindset for new romance. But, to really make the most of divorced dating, you need to think practically too. And, for many older singles, that means heading online. After all there’s no easier way to meet 50+ singles looking for a real connection. When you meet someone in the offline world, you might have to look for a wedding ring, or ask awkward questions – but online, with a serious mature dating site like SilverSingles, all you have to do is say hello.
9. Know that your past experiences don’t define your future
If there’s one final thing to know about dating after divorce it’s that, really, it’s just dating. Yes, divorce is painful, but it doesn’t mean that you have to view all your future relationships through the lens of the one that didn’t work out. Take the lessons you learned from your marriage, but don’t let the baggage from it define you. So you’re single and divorced? All that means is that you’re free to pursue new love that will help you thrive.
3 key things to remember when dating after divorce
Have PATIENCE – you may not click with the first person you date after your divorce, but stick with it, meet new people, and great things can happen!
Have OPTIMISM – a little positivity goes a long way and it’s easier to bounce back when you know that one bad date doesn’t doom you to a life of singledom. Bonus: the sunnier your outlook the more magnetic you become.
Have FUN – remember that the whole point of divorced dating is to find someone to have fun with. Take the plunge with an open heart and don’t forget to enjoy the adventure and companionship that will come your way.
Ready to start dating again after divorce? Try SilverSingles! Just fill in the registration box above to get started.