Dating App Advice: When to Exchange Phone Numbers

“Can I get your number?”

It’s the question that can turn a flirty conversation into something more—a sign that someone wants to get to know you better, and make a deeper connection.

In the world of online dating, exchanging phone numbers can feel like a natural next step. After all, that’s the point, right? Take things offline and into the “real world?” Yes! It’s exciting and fun to move things from chatting on the app to a more personal connection.

And for those of us who remember pre-digital dating, there’s a comfort that comes from talking to a real, live person.

However, protecting your personal information should always be a priority, and rushing to share your number too soon can expose you to unwanted messages, scams, or even safety risks. Knowing when—and when not—to share your number can help you navigate things with confidence.

Safety Tips for Sharing Your Phone Number

First things first. In most cases, it’s best to get to know someone as best as you can in the app first. For example, Silver Singles’ chat and video dating options give you the chance to get a feel for who you’re talking to, and gauge compatibility before giving away your personal details.

Ultimately, you want to make sure you’re comfortable and safe, and only move forward when you’re ready to. Here are a few tips that can help you decide what’s best for you.

With “safety first” in mind, let’s start with a few yellow and red flags before we get to green…

• Feeling pressure: If someone’s insisting on getting your number right away, they may not respect boundaries. If they’re overly pushy, that could indicate a lack of patience, or even an ulterior motive. If you prefer to keep conversations within the app for a while, a respectful match will understand.
• Something’s off: If someone’s refusing to verify their identity (in a video chat, for example), or asking excessive personal questions before it feels appropriate, these could be warning signs of dishonesty, catfishing, or other potential risks. Trust your instincts—if something feels off, keep your number private.

You’re In Control

If you don’t want to give your number out—for literally any reason—you don’t have to. Silver Singles gives you the power to keep things as private as you’d like, mute any profile you’re not comfortable with, or report anyone you think is acting suspiciously. Want to keep chatting for a while before giving out those digits?

Try some lighthearted humor to deflect the request (“You’re not going to try to sell me solar panels or something are you? Let’s stick to chatting here for now until we’re more ready!”) or just be upfront about your boundaries (“I like to keep my number private until I get to know someone better.”) This can help set clear expectations without sounding defensive. A genuine connection will respect this boundary.

When You’re Ready to Exchange Phone Numbers

• You’ve established trust: Once you’ve had multiple conversations, feel comfortable, and have verified that the person is who they claim to be, you may be ready! (Remember, it’s still a good idea to take things slow and be mindful.)
• You’re planning to meet: Exchanging numbers can help coordinate plans, especially for confirming details or making last-minute changes. However, you might consider using a secondary number for added security.
• Secondary number: If you’re not 100% comfortable, you might want to use services like Google Voice, Burner, or a work number. This allows you to stay in control without compromising your main contact information.

Trust Your Instincts

That little voice in the back of your head is usually right. Don’t ignore warning signs, don’t get pressured, and don’t be sorry if you’re just not ready. Dating on Silver Singles should be fun, not stressful. And when you’ve taken a couple of extra precautions before taking the plunge, you can be more relaxed, more genuine, and ready to enjoy your dating experience.