Divorcing your partner can be a strange process, but finding love after divorce is possible.
Breaking up with a spouse can mark the beginning of a new chapter. So instead of focusing on what you’ve left behind you, focus on the opportunities ahead of you.
This is your chance to create a life that makes you happy. Here’s our take on how you can find love again.
Our Guide to Finding Love After Divorce
Make sure you’re ready
It’s often tempting to distract yourself from your divorce by jumping into the dating world, putting yourself out there, and meeting new people straight away.
However, if you jump in too soon, you may bring yourself more harm than good.
Take time to decide if you’re ready to start dating after divorce. Consider what you want to gain from dating and define boundaries for yourself.
Being ready doesn’t mean that every feeling about your divorce has disappeared. It may simply mean that meeting someone new feels like something you genuinely want, rather than something you need to do to escape loneliness, please other people, or prove that you have moved on.
When you’re finding love after divorce, protecting your heart is important.
Redefine your type
If you’re interested in finding love after divorce, it’s important to consider what, or who, you’re looking for.
Are you looking to date a divorced man or woman who’s been through a similar experience to you? Do you have a type of person you usually go for? How has going for that kind of person served you in the past?
Your type may have changed quite a bit since you were last single. What you want in a relationship today is probably quite different now that you’re older. This isn’t just normal, it’s healthy!
If you always go for the same kind of people, you’ll always get the same kind of relationship.
Don’t be afraid to widen your restrictions. Be open to meeting new kinds of people. What have you got to lose?
Widening your idea of a “type” doesn’t mean giving up the standards that protect your wellbeing. You can remain clear about the values, communication style and relationship goals that matter to you while staying open-minded about interests, background or appearance.
Take things slow
There’s no one set amount of time you should wait before you start the process of finding love after divorce. Everyone’s journey is different.
However, we advise going slow when you’re dating, particularly at first. Avoid jumping into a relationship after just one date. Spend time getting to know what you like and dislike. You set the pace!
In time, you may begin to feel that meeting someone new is something you genuinely welcome. That moment won’t come more quickly by forcing yourself into situations you’re not ready for.
Be honest with your kids
If you have children, you might wonder when and how to tell them that you’ve started dating again.
While honesty is the best policy, sharing every detail about your love life with your kids might not be the best idea.
If your kids are adults, they can probably handle the idea of you moving on. Maybe they’ll even encourage you to do so.
However, if they’re young, then timing is everything. So be open about the fact that you’re dating, but be mindful about introducing them to new people. Regularly remind your kids that they come first and that nobody will ever change that.
Try online dating
Are you nervous because you’ve never tried online dating before? Don’t worry. You’re not alone.
Using dating websites is nothing to be ashamed of. It’s simply a way to meet genuine people who are looking for love. It no longer has the stigma that it once did.
Tons of online dating platforms cater to singles over 50. To get started, simply choose one that suits your needs, create a profile and begin speaking with others on the site.
With SilverSingles, you can introduce yourself in your profile, describe the kind of person you would like to meet and set preferences such as distance and gender. You can explore personalized recommendations based on the information you provide, browse other profiles yourself and begin an interaction with a Wink, a like or a message.
You can use online dating as much or as little as you like, so you’ll never feel overwhelmed. It can be a useful tool for those who’re finding love after divorce.
Focus on yourself
Going through a divorce can be draining and demanding. Now that you’re on the other side of yours, it’s time to focus on what you want.
Spend quality time with yourself, treat yourself, and take up a new hobby you’ve always wanted to try.
You can still go on dates and meet new people, but make an effort to put yourself first. Make sure your needs are met.
Filling your time with things you love will make you a happier person, and in the long term, a better partner.
Trust your gut
You know that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when something feels off? Listen to it.
If someone’s profile or behavior makes you uneasy, take that feeling seriously. Slow the conversation down, ask questions and step away if their answers do not reassure you. Trusting your gut is key to dating safely, particularly online.
Take your time before moving a conversation away from the dating platform, and never send money or disclose sensitive financial information to someone you have only met online. If another user makes you uncomfortable, stop the conversation and use the available block or report tools. When you decide to meet, choose a public place and let a friend or family member know your plans.
If a relationship isn’t serving you, don’t feel let down, just move forward. There are plenty of wonderful people out there who are looking for love, all you have to do is meet them.
Divorce is a difficult process to go through, but it happens, and finding love after divorce can be a real adventure.
An open heart can make room for new connections, while everything you’ve learned can help you approach them with a clearer sense of what feels right for you. Good luck!
When you feel ready to meet someone new, SilverSingles will always be here to support you. You’ll always be welcome to join our community, and we hope your experience brings you meaningful conversations, genuine connections and a wonderful outcome.
