Dating a divorced man can be genuinely special. These days, divorce rates in the US are high which means there’s a pretty good chance you might end up dating a man whose marriage has come to an end. But is it a good idea to date a divorced guy? What are the benefits and drawbacks? And are there any potential red flags to look out for?
To help get you started, we’ve put together an extensive guide on dating a divorced man. We’ve looked into the pros and cons of divorced dating, how to prepare, red flags to watch out for, and much more. Discover all you need to know below!
Dating after 50 has some wonderful positives. Your relationships are more authentic, partners are more experienced, and it’s often more relaxed than dating when you’re younger. But, when it comes to dating a divorced man, you might be wondering if it’s worth it.
Our short answer is, yes! For women over 50, dating a man who’s divorced can be genuinely special. We’ve laid out some of the standout benefits below.
• Communication: A divorced man usually knows the importance of speaking his mind. After a long-term relationship, people become aware of their faults and are better at communicating these. Dating a divorced man often means you won’t have to worry about coaxing his every thought and feeling out of him.
• Responsibility: Whether it’s looking after children, finances, or errands, a divorcee knows how to be responsible. This applies to both genders, most divorced women also come out of their marriage finding that they’re a lot more organized than when they went in.
• Maturity: Marriage forces everyone to grow up. By the end, most divorced men find that they’ve matured into caring adults. This means they understand past mistakes and setbacks. Don’t be surprised if divorcees make an extra effort to make you happy or if they pay attention to the small (but important) details.
While there are plenty of benefits to dating a divorced guy, there are some potential drawbacks too. Being aware of these will help to ensure that you’re ready to tackle any challenges that you might face. Below, we’ve laid out some of the possible disadvantages of dating a divorced man.
• Closure: Depending on how long has passed since his separation, a divorced man might not have the closure he needs to move on to a new relationship. Keep in mind any possible emotional baggage he might be carrying and how this might affect his desire to commit to a new partner.
• Children: This can be seen as a positive or a negative, depending on your viewpoint. However, it’s worth bearing in mind that a divorced man might have children from his previous marriage. Kids not only require a lot of time, energy, and money, but they also represent a permanent link between him and his ex.
• Financial commitments: It’s worth remembering that a divorced man might have extra financial commitments. This typically includes things like child support or alimony. As well as the financial impact this is another factor that represents a link between him and his former marriage.
There’s no doubt that dating a divorced man can result in a truly special relationship. If you’ve fallen for a divorced man, here are seven tips that can help to ensure your relationship is meaningful and long-lasting!
This one might sound blindingly obvious, but there’s a big difference between being in the process of a divorce and actually being divorced. Falling for a man who’s still in the process comes with risks. You might not get his full attention or commitment, or worse, he might change his mind and end up not going through with the divorce. For these reasons, it’s best to hold back until his divorce has been finalized.
It’s not healthy to pretend that you don’t have a history when it comes to relationships. This doesn’t mean grilling him with first date questions about his past. But, when you get to a stage where you feel comfortable with each other, it’s perfectly fine to inquire about his divorce and past relationships.
In doing so, you’ll both have an opportunity to share any past trauma, issues that you’ve had in previous relationships, and how you’ve grown since. This promotes bonding and will help you learn about his emotional state so you know where to tread lightly and where he’s comfortable.
Commitment can be an issue for divorced men. After dedicating themselves to someone through marriage, only for that marriage not to work, can make it tough to reach that point again. This is especially true when you’re dating a divorced man in his 50s.
Men tend to throw themselves into a distraction — like their work or hobbies — and they can end up isolated from their social network. This is why, if they’ve made the step to get into online dating, it’s an emotionally important moment for them. Bear this in mind and take things slow and steady at first. Keep things light, don’t get too heavy, and try and show him how much fun dating is supposed can be!
Entering a relationship with a divorced man means you need to be clear about what your and, equally importantly, his relationship expectations are. Be mindful that you’re entering his transition period, something that’s usually a sensitive time.
This might mean his wants and expectations are different from yours. If marriage, or remarriage, is top of your priority list, communicate this early on. Make sure he knows where you stand. This will help you both to decide what you want out of the relationship so that you don’t face disappointment down the line.
When it comes to tips for dating a divorced man, it’s important to be understanding, open, and willing to go on this journey with him. But remember to protect your emotional well-being as well. Don’t let his fragile state turn you into a personal therapist. There’s a delicate balance in relationships, divorced men should know this best, try and find it with your partner.
Yes, finding out your partner’s history is good for open and authentic conversation in the early stages of a relationship. But, there’s something called ‘talking about your ex too much’. It’s a common problem that we’ve all found ourselves doing at some point!
This behavior usually indicates the presence of some unresolved issues. So, keep an eye out. If you find yourself hearing about his ex’s hair looking autumnally auburn when it glimpses in the twilight, it’s probably too soon for them to be dating.
As mentioned earlier, dating a divorced guy often mean the presence of kids. Oftentimes, their children will be close to nearing adulthood. However, you might find some angsty teenagers still inhabit his home or visit him regularly. This can feel like a tricky situation, the new partner meeting the children is something we’ve all seen in movies, right?
When dating a divorced man with kids, it’s important that you understand his children’s lives and feelings. Ask him what their interests are and any topics to avoid, then you can go into the first meeting feeling much more relaxed.
We already covered some of the potential disadvantages of dating a divorced man but there are also some possible red flags to look out for.
• Short-term Relationships: A divorced man can sometimes turn into a bit of a thrill seeker. This could mean buying an expensive sports car or taking flying lessons. Other times it could mean that they’re on the lookout for short flings and one-night stands. Make sure he’s not moving too fast for you and get an idea of his intentions early on.
• Live-in Maid: Another possible red flag when it comes to dating a recently divorced man is that you might find yourself becoming their full-time carer. Successful marriages are built on a harmony of partnership, not codependency. If a divorced man tended to put all admin and cleaning tasks on his ex-partner, it might be a behavior they carry into a new relationship too.
• The Hermit: One of the ways men tend to deal with divorce is by becoming self-sufficient. Great, right? Who doesn’t want a partner who can do everything by themselves? However, being self-sufficient might mean the divorced man losing touch with others and ending up becoming a hermit. Learn to recognize these signs and try and coax him from his pristine man cave.
There’s no doubt that dating a divorced man can lead to some meaningful, lasting relationships full of romance! To ensure you’re on the right path, remain mindful of his past and be empathetic towards the journey his life has taken. In the end, he’ll likely be an amazing person for you, not despite, but because of his divorce.
Are you divorced and looking for someone with a shared experience? Join SilverSingles today, our collective community of 50+ singles is looking for romance, adventure, and most importantly, fun!